Over the past few months I have set several goals for myself, goals which will make me a better person. So far I have achieved many of them
-I quit smoking almost 6 months ago
-I cut people out of my life who were not good for me. Even my best friend of 8 years. She was a very negative influence and I didn’t like who I became around her.
-I have made new friends who are caring, supportive, and trustworthy. They have great morals and encourage me to be my best.
-I avoid the downtown Richmond scene because I do not gain anything at all by being around those type of people. Alcoholics. Fakes. Drama Queens.
-I have started reading the bible and familiarizing myself with several inspiring and motivational verses that help lift my spirits.
-I have been able to handle stress much better and I rarely get panic attacks. The only time I get really upset is when I think too much about Matt. Of course he is on my mind all the time, but when I spend long periods of time dwelling on it I get extremely emotional.
-I have been successful in school. I didn’t quit halfway through any classes and I managed to obtain a 4.0 GPA without any accommodations.
-I have been on the hunt for a new home and I was able to find a charming 3br house in Chester. Kacy and I will be moving in one week.
-I have become a more honest person. I don’t lie or cheat. I want people to know me for who I am and not who I pretend to me.
-I have managed to accept my faults and my mistakes and to take responsibility for them. No excuses. No blaming anything or anyone else. I have rid myself of all negativity in my life and now see things with a different perspective. I was wrong and I do not like the person i became. I am no longer that person.
-I have not seen a therapist in months and have been able to cope well with my stress. This blog is my outlet. I can share how I feel and be completely honest.
There are still some goals that I plan to achieve in the near future:
-I only have 3 classes to complete before I can apply to Dental Hygiene School. I have found a school much closer, near Norfolk so I won’t be far away and I can stay with my cousin Mitchell. I plan to apply next January.
-I want to start attending church every Sunday. There is a Catholic church very close to wear I am moving so I plan to go there.
-Once I am settled into my new home, I will start going to a gym nearby. Exercise is great for relieving stress and it helps with my overall health.
-I plan to start cooking each evening instead of eating out. It is both healthier and less expensive. I want to experiment with new recipes and learn to be a better cook.
-I want to spend more time at home. Now that I will have my own home I will save a lot of money by staying in rather than always staying gone like I do now. I will also be closer to the places I go the most.
-MOST of all, I will continue to hope and pray for a future with Matthew. I will NOT give up and I will work to create ideas to help me see and talk to him. My ultimate goal is to prove to him that I have changed and that he can trust me. I know he is still hurt by what I have done but he deserves to be happy again and I want to be the person who helps that happen. I want to alleviate the worry and doubt in his mind about love. It is real and it is worth it and I am willing to do whatever it takes to prove that.