This is how i feel sometimes. I think about the past couple of years and how much my life has changed. I constantly ask myself “what now?” because I don’t know how to move forward. I refuse to move on from Matt and I have no clue how to get him back in my life. I wish I could have a chance to talk to him, to tell him I’m sorry and to thank him for making me a better person. I will always have hope in my heart and I will always want to be with him again. No matter what the future brings, I do know one thing for sure…I will never stop loving him. I feel like I’m waiting around for that perfect moment when I can try to see him again. I have frequent daydreams of things I wish would happen….he randomly calls, he shows up at my house, I get invited somewhere he is and he actually talks to me. I practice what I’d say to him. As the days go by he seems further and further out of reach but I still hold on to the hope that maybe I can one day be with the person I love more than anything.