I heard someone talking today about relationships, life and love. The thing that stuck out the most was the part about getting what you truly want out of life, that if you believe what you want is what is really meant to be then it will happen. You have to believe it is more than just an idea and that it WILL happen and you do deserve it.
No matter what everyone else believes or wants for me, as long as i have faith and I believe it will happen, it WILL. I know that my family and friends care about me, but deep down, everyone is somewhat selfish…it’s human nature. Because other people can’t see what I see in Matt and don’t feel the way I do, they assume that he can be replaced and I just need to let it go. They want me to be happy and want that sooner than later in whatever way possible. I on the other hand am willing to suffer as long as I have to in order to get where i want to be. I just keep facing forward towards what I want and I can get through anything so that I can make it there. I could be content and happy without Matt..yes. But there would ALWAYS be something missing. I would never be truly happy. I would never be able to give someone else the love and attention they deserve. My loved ones would see me “happy” but would never understand the emptiness that would remain. That is why i say people are selfish. No matter what, they are going to want what THEY think I should want. They should just see that as long as this is what I want and what will make me happy that is all that matters. Most people think it is foolish or crazy to let myself obsess over the past…why do that if I can move on and look forward to what the future can bring? I do have a few friends that do understand and support me though. They are the ones who help me through my tougher days. Regardless of what anyone wants I’m still going to do what I want the way I want because I’m the one who has to live my life and feel my pain. I believe I will get there one day. It will happen and I will be exactly where I need to be when it does.