LaLa's Blog

My thoughts put into words

Stress January 18, 2014

Filed under: Random,Who I am — larenar13 @ 8:29 am

I feel as though most of my best posts are written late at night, this one being no different.  It’s 2:30am.  Tomorrow (today) is saturday.  I have homework to do as well as house cleaning.  I am in no rush to go to sleep because I slept most of today away trying to make up for my lack of sleep during the past 2 stressful weeks. 
It is only the beginning for me when it comes to stress at work.  I honestly don’t feel like I get paid enough for all that I do.  Not only am I the head assistant for my team but I have been there the longest so my boss trusts me the most.  This is a good thing in most cases but after her recent shoulder surgery I have become her personal chauffeur.  I pick her up and take her home, take her to appts, to the grocery store, and to pretty much everywhere she wants to go which happens to be no where near where we work.  I even had to pick her mother up and take her somewhere the other day while she was in an appt.  Awkward.  I havent had a real lunch break in 2 weeks.  Meanwhile I am getting everything together to prepare for dental health month which is stressful by itself.  But worst of all I can’t seem to find anyone worth a crap to work for me.  Everyone I have hired within the past few months has turned out to be either lazy, disrespectful or just really bad at what they do.  I can’t seem to catch a break.  Im constantly going through interviews and training and interviews and training….it’s never-ending.  We are short staffed and I have to pick up the slack.  When my boss is all healed up and working a full schedule again come march i’m going to be completely screwed if I don’t find someone great ASAP.  There is absolutely no way two of us can handle our schedule alone.  Are there really no decent dental assistants out there?  Ugghh!
On top of all that at work I have started a new semester at school.  I have class three nights a week.  Since I have been getting off work really late I have been rushing to make it to class and I get home after 9:30 so that leaves little time to rest at home before my roommate gets off work and the house is loud again. 
I wish I could just take a break from everything for a few days.  Unfortunately I can’t take a vacation anytime soon.
I don’t even do anything on the weekends much these days.  I have plans to go do something tomorrow night which is surprising.  I hope if i drink I don’t get like I did last saturday.  I spent most of that night babysitting my beautiful niece but afterwards I met my friend wes and his brother at Southbeach for a few.  Of course I didnt have anything better to do because I dont have many friends these days but it was nice and low key.  There weren’t many people there.  But I dont have the tolerance for alcohol that I used to so I got pretty tipsy and ended up turning into that drunk crying girl. Wes had to listen to me cry over matt for like half an hour.  Nothing new.  I probably shouldn’t drink at all.  I get upset easily when i’m sober but after a few drinks all it takes is one song on the radio or a conversation topic or a tv show or a place or person or just about anything to send me into full on cry sesh.  Quite pathetic I know but its difficult to hold back the tears all day everyday.  Sometimes I just can’t help it. My friends have gotten pretty used to it.  They try to comfort me as much as they can but they know that nothing really helps.  Its funny how my girl friends all try to convince me to get over it and move on, I guess so i’ll go out in search of guys with them, but my guy friends are the ones who support me and tell me not to give up.  Thanks so much to friedhaber, Adam, Nick, Austin, Wes, and Chris.
I really hope that things get better at work and I can focus on my classes this semester.  I hope I can get through these next few months.  I lost Sarah on 3/5/11 and matt and I split up in january 2012.  Valentine’s day is not only a really lonely day but it was also Brandon’s birthday.  There are a lot of reasons for me to be sad but maybe all the stress at work is there to distract me and keep me busy so I dont get too down.  I sure hope things can improve for me in the upcoming months.  I really need something to go right for me. 


One Response to “Stress”

  1. Awe I love you so much and you know that no matter what happens that I will never give up on you. The reason why I love so much today is because of you babe and there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for you. You are so strong and have been doing so well at work and school you can do this I have my complete faith in you.

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