LaLa's Blog

My thoughts put into words

Back to Normal February 17, 2014

Filed under: Random — larenar13 @ 5:34 am

I have not posted anything in about three weeks now.  That seems like such a long time.  I have been quite busy to say the least.  My boss has been in Thailand for the past three weeks and my work schedule has been so crazy.  February is dental health month so I have been working on projects and visiting preschools for presentations along with helping the other doctors.  I feel like I have been pulled in so many directions at once lately, constantly making sure I get everything done.  I’ve also hired someone new which my boss will meet tomorrow when she returns to work.  I really hope she likes her because I am tired of going through assistants every couple months.  I have had little time to train her with everything else i’ve had going on at work so I hope she isn’t too overwhelmed tomorrow.  Our schedule is completely full and it’s going to be a crazy day.  I’m so relieved that Dr. G is back.  Things will be much easier now that I have my normal schedule again. 
My laptop crashed and therefore I had to withdrawal from my Psychology class.  The library doesn’t stay open late enough for me to do all my work there and I cannot risk losing my 4.0 GPA because of a class I’m not required to take right now.  This of course has made me feel really bad.  I have never completed a course during the spring semester.  Everything negative in my life always occurs during the months of february through april.  I have no idea why and it is usually an extremely sad time for me every year.  I have a feeling that I probably wouldn’t have made it through the semester anyways.  I just can’t handle the added stress right now.  As far as I have come in the past couple years with handling my emotions and dealing with stress, I am no match for this time of year.  There is just something about it.  It’s like a bad storm that I have to let pass. 
Valentine’s Day was extremely difficult.  Brandon would’ve been 26 that day.  I miss him so much and I wish I could’ve celebrated with him.  To make things worse, his birthday is on the one holiday that makes me the most depressed.  It’s just a day to remind myself that I am ALONE and I cannot be with the person I love.  I watch all the happy couples and wish I could feel that way again.  My sister and wesley invited me over for dinner because they knew it was a tough day for me. They gave me a card, some candy and flowers which was very sweet.  It made me smile but deep down I know it was because they felt bad for me.  But I did get to spend some time with my niece.  I even baked and decorated a birthday cake for Brandon.  After that I met up with Ashley for a couple drinks.  It made me feel better to hang out with someone else who was alone on valentine’s day because she understood how I felt. 
So tomorrow I go back to my usual schedule at work which is a relief but I know the next few days are going to be absolutely chaotic since we are making up for the past three weeks.  I will be very happy to see Dr. G in the morning.


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