LaLa's Blog

My thoughts put into words

Mission Accomplished March 1, 2014

Filed under: Goals,Relationships — larenar13 @ 4:06 am

All I could think about over the past week is whether or not Matt had received my letter and if he read it.  I needed to know.  I finally asked Adam to see if he could find out for me.  To my surprise he had already asked him.  He did read it along with this blog.  I was not expecting to hear that.  I was hoping he would take the time to read the letter but I never thought he would read my posts too.  I don’t know how many of them he read or if it affected him in any way.  It could’ve just been nothing more than curiousity, but i’m hoping not.   My mood instantly changed after finding that out.  Nothing could’ve ruined my day after that.  The thing that got to me the most over the past year is that he didn’t know how I feel or where I stand.  Now he does.  The letter may change nothing for us but at least he now knows how much I still care for him.  That’s all I wanted.  I’m not expecting anything more right now.  But I am still holding onto the hope that we will be together again in the future no matter how far away that may be. 
The feelings I get when I think of him are so overwhelming. These feelings are always accompanied with sadness and tears but now I can smile through the tears knowing that he read what I wrote to him. At least now I have been able to express my feelings.  All I can do now is wait and pray.  I cannot and will not give up. 


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