Something significant has happened each day this week…
MONDAY: I broke the news to Dr. Gokli that I didn’t get in to dental hygiene school. She was surprised and confused just like me. I held a team meeting to go over everything that was talked about in the head assistant meeting I had last week and to review things that need improvement. I also got a raise that afternoon.
TUESDAY: I drove my mom’s car to work and played an April fool’s joke on Dr. Gokli. We made her think that another assistant and I were not there and my co-worker LaToya was the only one there with our busy schedule. She started to panic when she got there but we were just hiding down the hall. I met my ex boyfriend for lunch which was quite awkward. It’s hard not to still hold a grudge against him for how he treated me. But I know he’s much different now. He has been trying for years to catch up and I have been against it but how can I expect Matt to ever see me again and forgive me if I can’t do the same for someone who wronged me? That evening I had dinner at Shana and Wesley’s house. It was reLly good! I got to spend some time with my beautiful niece 🙂
WEDNESDAY: My great aunt went into open heart surgery but unfortunately did not make it out. She is now an angel flying high above us all. She will be greatly missed.
THURSDAY: I worked half a day. Dr. Gokli had taken the afternoon off. I went by my parents to see my mom who is having a hard time with the loss of her aunt. I spent some time with her and baby Madison. When I got home I was in full-on cleaning mode. I did laundry and cleaning the whole house. Then I somehow allowed Lauren…yess THE Lauren, to convince me to hang out with her. I hadn’t seen her in over a year and i ended up having one of the worst nights ever. Richmond is not for me anymore and I don’t lije anything about those places or the kind of people who go there. I guess after such a long time I had forgotten all the reasons why I had avoided her and those things but it didn’t take me long to realize again. I have grown up and changed so much and I don’t belong around that stuff anymore.
TODAY: I have been in bed all day. Im mad at myself for going to Richmond last night. I knew better than to be around Lauren and all those people. They have no respect for themselves or others. It was just another reminder of how I used to be and I wish I could’ve realized all the things i know now back when it wasn’t too late. I love Matt more than anything and I’m so ashamed of how I was before. I was supposed to go to my great aunt’s visitation this evening but I can’t handle being around all those people two days in a row. I don’t handle being in funeral homes well, no matter who it is that has passed away. I will attend the funeral tomorrow. I’m so lonely right now. My friend Landon won’t answer my calls. I really need someone to talk to. He has become the person I feel like I can trust more than anyone. I haven’t had someone in my life like that since Brandon. I know he wouldn’t ignore me so maybe he’s asleep. I really need to get up and eat something. It has been about 30 hours since I last ate. Hopefully my day will get better.
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