LaLa's Blog

My thoughts put into words

Quite a week April 5, 2014

Filed under: Good to know,Random,Relationships,Who I am — larenar13 @ 12:04 am

Something significant has happened each day this week…
MONDAY: I broke the news to Dr. Gokli that I didn’t get in to dental hygiene school.  She was surprised and confused just like me.  I held a team meeting to go over everything that was talked about in the head assistant meeting I had last week and to review things that need improvement.  I also got a raise that afternoon.
TUESDAY: I drove my mom’s car to work and played an April fool’s joke on Dr. Gokli.  We made her think that another assistant and I were not there and my co-worker LaToya was the only one there with our busy schedule.  She started to panic when she got there but we were just hiding down the hall.  I met my ex boyfriend for lunch which was quite awkward.  It’s hard not to still hold a grudge against him for how he treated me.  But I know he’s much different now.  He has been trying for years to catch up and I have been against it but how can I expect Matt to ever see me again and forgive me if I can’t do the same for someone who wronged me?  That evening I had dinner at Shana and Wesley’s house.  It was reLly good!  I got to spend some time with my beautiful niece 🙂
WEDNESDAY: My great aunt went into open heart surgery but unfortunately did not make it out.  She is now an angel flying high above us all.  She will be greatly missed. 
THURSDAY: I worked half a day.  Dr. Gokli had taken the afternoon off.  I went by my parents to see my mom who is having a hard time with the loss of her aunt.  I spent some time with her and baby Madison.  When I got home I was in full-on cleaning mode.  I did laundry and cleaning the whole house.  Then I somehow allowed Lauren…yess THE Lauren, to convince me to hang out with her.  I hadn’t seen her in over a year and i ended up having one of the worst nights ever.  Richmond is not for me anymore and I don’t lije anything about those places or the kind of people who go there.  I guess after such a long time I had forgotten all the reasons why I had avoided her and those things but it didn’t take me long to realize again.  I have grown up and changed so much and I don’t belong around that stuff anymore.
TODAY: I have been in bed all day.  Im mad at myself for going to Richmond last night.  I knew better than to be around Lauren and all those people.  They have no respect for themselves or others.  It was just another reminder of how I used to be and I wish I could’ve realized all the things i know now back when it wasn’t too late.  I love Matt more than anything and I’m so ashamed of how I was before.  I was supposed to go to my great aunt’s visitation this evening but I can’t handle being around all those people two days in a row.  I don’t handle being in funeral homes well, no matter who it is that has passed away.  I will attend the funeral tomorrow.  I’m so lonely right now.  My friend Landon won’t answer my calls.  I really need someone to talk to.  He has become the person I feel like I can trust more than anyone.  I haven’t had someone in my life like that since Brandon.  I know he wouldn’t ignore me so maybe he’s asleep.  I really need to get up and eat something.  It has been about 30 hours since I last ate.  Hopefully my day will get better.

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4 Responses to “Quite a week”

  1. slamdunk Says:

    My condolences to you and your family after losing your great aunt. That sounds like a difficult situation.

  2. I am so sorry to hear about your great aunt my prayers have been with you and her family and I could never imagine what you have been going through, but I only hope things get better for you soon and I am always available to talk anytime day/night for as long as you need. Hang in there I know we don’t get to see each other as often as others, but remember we will always be friends no matter the distance and I am planing to come down to see you real soon money has been tight, but finally getting new tires on my car next week and would love to come out to Cherster sometime to see your beautiful face. I love you so much and so happy to have you in my life and wouldn’t change it for the world.


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