LaLa's Blog

My thoughts put into words

6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person January 5, 2014

Filed under: Goals,Good to know — larenar13 @ 1:05 am

6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

I found this the other day while just browsing on the internet.  It is very different than anything else I have ever read that is supposed to inspire you to do better.  This writer comes off like a total asshole but he is actually just brutally honest.  I have never looked at life in this perspective before.  I believe that this is all true.  I mean if you really think about it, being nice and caring is great but what does that do for anyone?  People do always say that it matters most how you are on the inside but other people don’t hear your thoughts and know your intentions.  The only things they know are the things you do and what you can offer them.  There are so many people out there who are honest and caring but that isn’t everything.  

This article really has made me feel like I can improve significantly.  Yes I am a caring, honest, trustworthy person but I can be way more than that.  I can say I feel bad when someone is sick and I can tell them that I hope they feel better but I’m not doing a damn thing for them.  When I leave this world I want people to remember the wonderful things I did for them and the good I brought them, not just that I was a nice person.  

Nice people really do finish last.  They don’t fight for what they want or what they feel is right.  They sit back and let other people do that for them.  I am determined to become someone who other people are proud to know.  I want my family and friends and anyone else who knows me to not only think I am a good person but KNOW because I have done things to prove that.  Actions speak much louder than words and I can say over and over how much I have changed on the inside but if that is not reflected by my actions it doesn’t matter what I say.  People believe what they can see not what people tell them.  

I hope this article allows you to see things in a way that will make you want to become a better person and strive to give more to this world.  

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Quotes That Remind Me of HIM <3 December 25, 2013

Filed under: Goals,Good to know,Relationships — larenar13 @ 5:56 am
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I find myself constantly browsing the internet for beautiful quotes that I can relate to.  It relaxes me and distracts me a bit so that I don’t just lay here crying because I miss Matt so much.  I must have hundreds of these saved on my phone.  There are not words that could possibly express how I feel about him but I really like these because they are all true.  I will always love him and I will miss him until either I can be with him again or until I die, whichever comes first.  True love NEVER dies and I believe anything is possible.  

 

5 Years December 21, 2013

Filed under: Goals,Good to know,Relationships,Who I am — larenar13 @ 5:41 am
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I have begun to write today’s post over and over again, never making it past the first sentence.  Why?  Because it hurts to think about it.  But I have to do it.  I have to let it out.
5 years ago today I met the love of my life.  Matthew D. Heath.  He’s the most amazing person I know because he is the reason I have been able to accomplish so much.  If it weren’t for my undying love for him I wouldn’t have made it to where I am now.  He pushes me forward and encourages me without even knowing it.  I miss him every single day but the girl I was doesn’t deserve him.  I will continue to strive to become the very best I can be and pray to God that will be enough for him.  I cannot possibly describe the feelings that I have or the struggles I have gone through in the past 2 years without him.  But I am strong and I refuse to give in or give up.  No matter how hard it is or how far out of reach he seems I will make it there.  I will not stop until I am there.  I sit here now with tears rolling down my cheeks because I wish more than anything that we could be together right now.  He has no clue how much he means to me.  No clue.  I would give up anything in the world for the chance to talk to him face to face.  He is still my everything, my reason for carrying on, my encouragement, my number one goal.  I can only pray that one day he takes the time to read this blog and sees just how serious I am about how I feel.  He truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will love him forever.

 

Never Give Up December 19, 2013

Filed under: Goals,Random,Relationships,Who I am — larenar13 @ 8:00 pm
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I am unable to go a single day without thinking about Matt. He is still the one person I want to share my life with and I will never give up on that. He may hate me for what I have done and choose never to fogive me but then again maybe he will. The worst feeling there is to have is knowing exactly who you want to be with and not being able to be with that person. I don’t care how long I have to be alone. I know how I feel and I know what I want. Nothing will change that.

 

Love <3 December 16, 2013

Filed under: Goals,Random,Relationships,Who I am — larenar13 @ 6:32 am
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I love Matthew Heath. Forever.  Period.

 

Perfect Xmas Gift December 13, 2013

Filed under: Goals,Random,Relationships — larenar13 @ 8:40 pm
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Dear Santa,
   I want him for Christmas!  Please and thank you!  <3.   I love Matthew Heath with all my heart! 
Love,
Lauren

 

Believe December 11, 2013

Filed under: Goals,Relationships,Who I am — larenar13 @ 6:31 am
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I heard someone talking today about relationships, life and love.  The thing that stuck out the most was the part about getting what you truly want out of life, that if you believe what you want is what is really meant to be then it will happen.  You have to believe it is more than just an idea and that it WILL happen and you do deserve it.

No matter what everyone else believes or wants for me,  as long as i have faith and I believe it will happen, it WILL.  I know that my family and friends care about me, but deep down, everyone is somewhat selfish…it’s human nature.  Because other people can’t see what I see in Matt and don’t feel the way I do, they assume that he can be replaced and I just need to let it go.  They want me to be happy and want that sooner than later in whatever way possible.  I on the other hand am willing to suffer as long as I have to in order to get where i want to be.  I just keep facing forward towards what I want and I can get through anything so that I can make it there.  I could be content and happy without Matt..yes.  But there would ALWAYS be something missing.  I would never be truly happy.  I would never be able to give someone else the love and attention they deserve.  My loved ones would see me “happy” but would never understand the emptiness that would remain.  That is why i say people are selfish.  No matter what, they are going to want what THEY think I should want.  They should just see that as long as this is what I want and what will make me happy that is all that matters.  Most people think it is foolish or crazy to let myself obsess over the past…why do that if I can move on and look forward to what the future can bring?   I do have a few friends that do understand and support me though.  They are the ones who help me through my tougher days.  Regardless of what anyone wants I’m still going to do what I want the way I want because I’m the one who has to live my life and feel my pain.  I believe I will get there one day.  It will happen and I will be exactly where I need to be when it does.