LaLa's Blog

My thoughts put into words

Pisces horoscope for Jul 21 2014 July 23, 2014

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Goals,Good to know,Who I am — larenar13 @ 3:57 am

Pisces horoscope for Jul 21 2014
An opportunity or a dream or even a friendship that you thought would be incredibly successful has instead left you feeling disappointed and disillusioned. This may be something from the past, and you have learned to live with the letdown. But an event that occurs within the next few weeks may reignite your passion and show you that it really is possible to have what you thought you would have. Don’t let the chance pass you by, Pisces. Let it inspire you to reach for it again. Don’t stop until you have it.

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Pisces horoscope for May 21 2014 by Daily Horoscope (http://bit.ly/DHmobile) May 22, 2014

Filed under: Goals,Good to know,Who I am — larenar13 @ 12:41 am

Pisces horoscope for May 21 2014
Someone important in your life thinks you aren’t reaching your full potential. You are probably keenly aware of this, Pisces. And while it annoys you, you may also recognize that it’s at least partly true. In some area of your life there is a talent or a desire that is not being fulfilled. You want to explore it, but you have put it off – perhaps for quite a long time. Why not allow your annoyance transform into motivation? Make this a way to motivate yourself to finally reach for what you want.

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Pisces horoscope for Apr 20 2014 by Daily Horoscope (http://bit.ly/DHmobile) April 22, 2014

Filed under: Goals,Good to know,Who I am — larenar13 @ 5:27 am

Pisces horoscope for Apr 20 2014
In some area of your life you may be worried that “the right thing” will not happen. You are so worked up over it because you can’t control the outcome, and you may be thinking that it can’t possibly happen as you envision it since you have no authority over it. That’s why you have to trust in the cosmos, and also trust in yourself. A long-awaited endeavor will soon come to an end. You are hoping for a certain outcome, and you shall have it because it is what’s right. Just have faith, Pisces.

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Never Give Up April 16, 2014

Filed under: Goals,Random,Who I am — larenar13 @ 4:31 am

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Quite a week April 5, 2014

Filed under: Good to know,Random,Relationships,Who I am — larenar13 @ 12:04 am

Something significant has happened each day this week…
MONDAY: I broke the news to Dr. Gokli that I didn’t get in to dental hygiene school.  She was surprised and confused just like me.  I held a team meeting to go over everything that was talked about in the head assistant meeting I had last week and to review things that need improvement.  I also got a raise that afternoon.
TUESDAY: I drove my mom’s car to work and played an April fool’s joke on Dr. Gokli.  We made her think that another assistant and I were not there and my co-worker LaToya was the only one there with our busy schedule.  She started to panic when she got there but we were just hiding down the hall.  I met my ex boyfriend for lunch which was quite awkward.  It’s hard not to still hold a grudge against him for how he treated me.  But I know he’s much different now.  He has been trying for years to catch up and I have been against it but how can I expect Matt to ever see me again and forgive me if I can’t do the same for someone who wronged me?  That evening I had dinner at Shana and Wesley’s house.  It was reLly good!  I got to spend some time with my beautiful niece 🙂
WEDNESDAY: My great aunt went into open heart surgery but unfortunately did not make it out.  She is now an angel flying high above us all.  She will be greatly missed. 
THURSDAY: I worked half a day.  Dr. Gokli had taken the afternoon off.  I went by my parents to see my mom who is having a hard time with the loss of her aunt.  I spent some time with her and baby Madison.  When I got home I was in full-on cleaning mode.  I did laundry and cleaning the whole house.  Then I somehow allowed Lauren…yess THE Lauren, to convince me to hang out with her.  I hadn’t seen her in over a year and i ended up having one of the worst nights ever.  Richmond is not for me anymore and I don’t lije anything about those places or the kind of people who go there.  I guess after such a long time I had forgotten all the reasons why I had avoided her and those things but it didn’t take me long to realize again.  I have grown up and changed so much and I don’t belong around that stuff anymore.
TODAY: I have been in bed all day.  Im mad at myself for going to Richmond last night.  I knew better than to be around Lauren and all those people.  They have no respect for themselves or others.  It was just another reminder of how I used to be and I wish I could’ve realized all the things i know now back when it wasn’t too late.  I love Matt more than anything and I’m so ashamed of how I was before.  I was supposed to go to my great aunt’s visitation this evening but I can’t handle being around all those people two days in a row.  I don’t handle being in funeral homes well, no matter who it is that has passed away.  I will attend the funeral tomorrow.  I’m so lonely right now.  My friend Landon won’t answer my calls.  I really need someone to talk to.  He has become the person I feel like I can trust more than anyone.  I haven’t had someone in my life like that since Brandon.  I know he wouldn’t ignore me so maybe he’s asleep.  I really need to get up and eat something.  It has been about 30 hours since I last ate.  Hopefully my day will get better.

 

Sleeeepy April 2, 2014

Filed under: Goals,Good to know,Random,Relationships,Who I am — larenar13 @ 4:30 pm

I feel kind of like a zombie today.  I’m extremely tired.  On the way to work this morning I was struggling to stay awake and I still feel as though I could fall asleep just standing up if I close my eyes.  I need sleep.  I have had a shortage of that this week. 
It’s my lunch break right now so i’m sitting in my car, debating on whether or not to take a nap before returning to work.  I need a second wind.  Once the patients arrive and we get busy I will be fine but I cannot stay awake with nothing to do. 
I’m also worried about my great aunt.  She has been in the hospital for a few days.  She had a heart attack yesterday and is currently in open heart surgery.  I pray that she will make it through.  She’s such a sweet, caring woman and I really hope I get to see her again.  My mom is at the hospital now waiting for her to get out of surgery. 
Of course it doesn’t make my day any better to hear “crazy girl” play on the radio while i’m sitting here in my car.  I havent heard that play on the radio for quite some time.  It just had to come on didn’t it?  That was me and Matthew’s song.  It’s just another reminder of all that I have lost and all I COULD’VE had.  I WILL earn his forgiveness one day somehow, even if it takes me a lifetime to do it. 
Despite all the reasons I have to be down today, I am not in a bad mood at all.  I think it’s the sunshine.  It is so beautiful outside today.  I could be napping right now but i’d rather sit out here and enjoy this. 

 

My Thoughts March 30, 2014

Filed under: Good to know,Random,Who I am — larenar13 @ 6:26 am

I’m lying in bed just thinking about things….
First of all, I had my interview for the dental hygiene program at TNCC last week.  I didn’t feel confident afterwards.  I was extremely nervous and I was caught off guard because it wasn’t at all what I was prepared for.  I got a letter in the mail yesterday which said that I didn’t make it in.  I’m disappointed and a bit confused.  I have a 4.0 and over 7 years of experience in the field.  How could I not make it in?  I’m guessing that they probably consider current students at that college first and then expand from there so with me taking classes elsewhere and living an hour away, they didn’t take me as seriously.  I wish I would have expressed how important it is to me a little better in the interview.  But it is a learning experience so I will be more prepared next time for sure.  I guess it just wasn’t meant to be right now.  I will keep trying though.
I got to spend some time with my oldest friend tonight.  Heather and I have been friends since middle school.  We have been through a lot together and i’m fortunate to still have her in my life.  So it made me happy to see her.  It has been a couple months since I last got to see her.  I have plans with her next friday for lunch as well so I look forward to that.
I got home tonight and noticed police patrolling my street.  According to Kacy, there were apparently reports of gunshots and the police were called to check it out.  That’s a little scary.  I live in a pretty quiet, safe neighborhood so that’s very surprising to hear.  All seems okay now but I hope we don’t have any more issues in the future. 
I’m also worried about my health.  I’ve been experiencing problems with my stomach for the past several months and it has been getting worse and worse.  I have recently lost my appetite completely and I feel very uncomfortable after each time I eat or drink anything.  My gastroenterologist told me that the next step is to have a colonoscopy.  Great.  I’m not looking forward to that experience but I really want to know what’s wrong with me.  I’m really tired of feeling like this all the time. 
Right now i’m here snuggled up in my bed with Matchew’s hoodie.  It feels great to lay down and relax but i’m also restless.  I can’t ever seem to fall asleep.  I have too much on my mind.  I wish Matt wad here to cuddle with me and help me fall asleep.  I use to sleep so great with him beside me.  I never sleep that good nowadays.  I pray I can have that back someday.  Until then i’ll continue to stare at the darkness and let my mind race around a hundred different ideas instead of sleeping.